


Stay.

by Alrak98



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alrak98/pseuds/Alrak98
Summary: After defeating Leviathan and Lex, things seem to be going well for Kara and Lena but not everything is what it seems.What happens when Kara comes to Lena's apartment one night and finds out she's leaving National City for good. Will she let Lena go or will she finally accept her growing feelings for the other woman and stop her?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 251





	1. Ball and Chain

The music feels louder than normal, the lights brighter and the place crowded. There is something missing but everything seems normal. Nia and Brainy are near the stage trying to decide on what song to sing, J'onn is ordering the drinks with Megan who has just told us that she has decided to stay on earth for some time and Kelly has just texted Alex that she is a couple of blocks from the Alien bar, so everything is as it should be. In fact, everything is better than normal because we finally defeated the bad guys. Leviatan, Lillian and Lex. They are all gone and can't harm any more people so that's why this day is better than most days and that's why we are all celebrating in the Alien bar on karaoke night... well, not all.

It took a lot of work to finally put Lex and Lillian behind bars but I'm sure it would have been a lot more harder without Lena. The past few days working with her, being around her not only as Kara but as Supergirl too, having her protect my identity and my life... It almost feels like a dream and a nightmare to think about it. Every time I close my eyes I see her in that lab, risking her life for me, and I feel the air leave my lungs as my knees buckle under the weight of the what-ifs and I end up curled up in the floor as I hear the reassuring steady beat of her heart. To say that it has brought up feelings that I thought were finally gone is an understatement, not only do I feel them now but they actually feel stronger and it terrifies me.

"What's gotten into you?“ Says Alex all of a sudden bringing me out of my spiraling thoughts and giving me something else to focus on. "You look like someone just told you they killed a puppy."  
"What?" I say trying to understand what she has just told me but every word seems to float in the air mixing with the background noise and usually, that's not a problem but lately, everything is just...  
"Okay, something's wrong so, what is it?“ Like a knee reaction, I am about to tell her that everything is fine, that there is nothing to worry about and she should just enjoy the night out now that we can because Rao knows this is not going to stick but her raised eyebrow and stern look warn me not to even try and it is both irritating and a relief that she knows me so well. "Kara you can tell me anything, you know that."  
"I just... I-" It feels like there is a knot in my throat preventing me from saying anything but it is a relief in the end for I am not sure I could say out loud whatever is going on in my head.  
"Is this about Lena?" The little backflip that my heart does at the sound of her name is painful and suddenly I feel like crying for no reason. "Is she not coming?"  
“She just texted me that she has some paperwork to do and can't make it here tonight." I say trying not to sound too dejected but without much success. "I mean I get it, with Lex and Lillian gone she has to be on top of everything and I want to be supportive but-"

"You miss her." It feels like a weight is lifted of my shoulders the moment I hear those words because I do, I miss her so much that it hurts to be apart and it frightens me.

With everything that has happened over the last few months it feels like an eternity has passed and the past couple of days are not enough to satiate this need inside of me, and I fight it, I fight it every moment I resist to show up at her balcony in the middle of the day just to make sure she is there or every time we are close and I force myself not to wrap her in my arms or every time I think of her when I wake up and stop myself from texting her for I know things aren't the way they used to be but I give in, when the night falls over National City and my biggest fears come to play in the early morning I give in, and I fly over to her apartment and listen to her breathe as she sleeps because only then I can feel like my world is not collapsing.

"You should go." Says Alex after a long pause as if she had finally come to a conclusion and in her eyes there is something that resembles recognition.  
"What do you mean? We're celebrating tha-"  
"Come on Kara." She says interrupting me again, lately she's been making a habit of it. "You aren't here, even know you're sitting next to me. You've barely talked since we came and earlier when Nia mentioned potstickers you didn't even bat an eye, and don't think I haven't noticed how distracted you've been the last few days so whatever it is that you need to do to stop this, do it."  
"Alex... I- I don't-" The sudden touch of Alex's hand on my cheek is all it takes for a single tear to escape my eyes but she cleans it with delicacy and love and when I finally look up she is smiling and looking at me with so much affection and understanding. It's comforting how well we can communicate without having to say a single word and I lean into that comfort and the familiarity of her love, even if just for a moment, feeling much better and stronger because no matter what they say about my powers coming from the yellow sun, my strength will always come from the love of my family and my friends.  
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me... but you need to talk to her." Her voice is soft, even with all the noise going on around us. "It's okay to be afraid but you can't let that stop you, and whatever happens... I am here to catch you, I am always here." I let my lungs fill with air and for the first time in a long time, I don't feel like there is an invisible force crushing my chest to the point where it's almost painful. "Now go, I'll tell everyone that you were needed somewhere else."  
"Thank you, Alex, I don't know what I would do without you." And it's true, I don't know what my life would have been if the Danvers hadn't been the ones to take me in their family and for that I than Rao every day. The little soft smile on her face tells me everything I need to know... that she understands just how I feel and that she too feels the same.  
"Go." And with that I make my way to the entrance feeling a little more like my old self.

************

It takes me a little while to actually get to my destination, having flown to my apartment first to change clothes because I didn't felt like I had the right ones on and then going to the little restaurant in Dublin that she loves so much for her favorite dessert because I'm sure she will forget to eat as she always does when she has work. It takes me a couple of seconds to peak up on the familiar beat of her heart, strong but soft, and a couple of minutes later I'm landing on her balcony. If it weren't for the light coming from the hallway I would think that she's already asleep but I know better, she barely sleeps. Forcing every sound in National City to the back I hear the sound of a pen scribbling on paper and the knock of her heal as it constantly rocks softly against the floor with she usually does when anxious or nervous.

I debate whether to knock on the door or just wait until she finally comes out of her office. _Would she want to see me? Would she let me in?._ The last time I was on this balcony things didn't go so well and I ended up saying things that I regretted immediately. Maybe I should just leave the food here and go before she even notices, maybe try tomorrow with a clearer head and actually being able to say whatever needs to be said, maybe I shouldn't practice in the mirror until I find the right words... If they even exist and only the come here and knock on the door and not sneak into her balcony like a thief, maybe I should just wait until things between is are the way they were or-

"Kara?" It feels like the air rushes out of my lungs and I force myself not to show how utterly disarmed I feel by just hearing my name be said with that special tone that only she can muster. I had been so wrapped up in my thought that I completely missed the moment she stopped writing and came out of her office just to realize, when she was in the middle of her living room, that she's not alone. "What are you doing here? " she says finally seeming to break from her initial confusion and walking to the balcony door she opens it looking over my shoulder, at the city, as if she expected to find her answer there smashing a building or terrorizing the masses and when she doesn't her beautiful green eyes land on me, Finally relaxing a little. "Kara." she says, this time more purposely bringing me out of my initial surprise.

"Hi," I say not really knowing what to say and then I remember the little bag with pastries I'm still carrying. "I brought you some food because I know you often forget to eat when you're working and I thought it would be nice, you know, to bring you something but if you are to busy I- I can just go." She stares at me for a moment, lost in her own thoughts, and the more she stares the more I get nervous and maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I should just pretend there is an emergency and fly out of here because it's obvious she's thinking of a polite way to tell me that she doesn't want me anywhere near her apartment or maybe anywhere near her. Maybe she finally realized that she doesn't want anything to do with me or supergirl. I'm about to turn around and fly off when her voice finally reaches my ears and it's soft and gentle.

"Thank you." She says with a small smile adorning her beautiful face but it doesn't reach her eyes, in fact, they look sad as if there was grief weighing on them and I worry if something has happened to make her sorrowful. "Let's get inside, the air is a little chilly tonight." With that, she makes her way inside leaving the door open for me and I follow her, almost in autopilot, closing the door behind me and making my way to the kitchen where she is getting two plates. Only now that I'm finally more aware of everything around do I notice that she isn't in her usual sweater with long sleeves that she loves wearing and jeans or sweatpants, which she made me promise not to ever mention to anyone, in fact, she's wearing a navy blue suit, which I've noticed she's been wearing more often lately, and her hair is still up in a tight ponytail. The whole look does put me off for a second but maybe she just got home and hasn't had a chance to change into something more comfortable. "I thought you were going to be celebrating with everyone else." She says putting a slice of pecan pie in front of me.

"I was. I- I just thought that maybe- that you might need a break from all of that too, I mean the paperwork and the whole evil family." I say suddenly feeling out of place and reaching to adjust my glasses I remember that I left them at my apartment with the supergirl suit because I needed to do this as just Kara but now it leaves me with nothing to fidget and it does feel like, for the first time in a long time, I am totally exposed. "Anyway, I just felt that without you there... the whole celebrating part wasn't as much fun as it should." Her gaze falls to her plate where she's been poking at her slice of pecan pie with the fork and if it weren't for the super hearing I think I might have missed what she said next.

"I didn't think it was such a good idea for me to go." When her eyes finally find mine this time they look almost grey and with the light in the room I can clearly see the sadness in them and the traces off red in the corners meaning that she had been crying. "After all, I did help him." It breaks my heart to see the guilt that's weighing on her and I have to force myself to stay where I am and not fly right this second to the prison Lex is in and punch him until I could erase him from this earth, just so Lena would never have to go through the emotional abuse she's been under all these years.

"Lena... you didn't know what he was planing, it isn't your fault that he used you-"

"But I should have known." She says with her voice stern and cold for the first time. "I should have known, after all I grew up a Luthor... that's what we do." A self decrepitating laugh fills the room and it's so far from the laugh I am used to hearing that a chill runs my body making me feel dread.

"Lena..." I don't know what to say but her name escapes my lips before I can even think about it and suddenly the space between us has grown smaller. Even with heels she's still a few inches smaller than me but she stands tall with her face high like invisible armor, one that I haven't seen since that they at the fortress were she accused me of being two-faced and it feels wrong to see her use it to protect herself from me. If things were different I would reach for her hand and maybe even hug her until I could feel her relax in my arms, I would whisper to her how much I believe in her, how she is nothing like her family, how good and kind and beautiful I think she is, how she deserves so much but life has been unfair and how strong I think she is because after all the shit that the world has thrown at her she is still the same woman I met in that office who wanted nothing but to make the world a better place. Oh, if things were different, but there's so much that needs to be said, so much that needs to be done, and it weights on the both of us like a thick blanket making the silence that has filled the room almost unbearable.

"Kara, there is someth-"

"Actually there's this th-"

We both try to break the silence at the same time without much success. maybe it's because my heart is beating so loudly, maybe because I can't seem to be able to focus on anything that has nothing to do with the woman in front of me, or maybe because whatever it is that was about to be said feels important, but when a deep voice sounds from the entrance it takes the both of us by surprise and I immediately put myself between Lena and the possible threat which ends up being Thomas, Lena's driver.

"Miss Luthor, the car is ready and we can leav- oh!" He says surprised when he finally notices us and his eyes open widely before scolding his features. "Forgive me, Miss Luthor, I didn't think you had company." He says composing his jacket in a fidget-ish manner before he catches himself and stands straight. "I just came to inform you that the car is ready and we can leave whenever you wish."

"Thank you, Mr. Reyes, I won't take long." He nods before informing Lena that he will take her luggage to the car, which I hadn't notice was carefully placed by the door, and then he leaves unaware of the tension that has suddenly grown between Lena and me.

When I turn around Lena is looking at the floor as if to avoid whatever it is that I might say but I feel at a loss for words standing here in the middle of her kitchen. What can I say, are you going on a trip? Where are you going? How long will you be gone? Where you not going to tell me? How can I demand answers of her when she clearly doesn't want to talk about it but the uncertainty of it all eats me alive and I ask because how can I let her go like this.

"I didn't know you were going on a trip." My words seem to hit a nerve because she takes a big breath before looking back up and this time the sadness from her eyes is gone and left in her place is something I can't recognize, something like resignación.

"I am not going on a trip Kara... I'm leaving." Never in my life have I doubted my hearing as I do now because it can't be right what I'm hearing. Leaving? Why? Why would she leave? Is it because of me? Of my secret?. This can't be right, she can't leave, not now, not when we are finally in good terms. I can feel my heart breaking at the thought of Lena not being in Nacional City anymore and not being able to just land on her office balcony for an impromptu lunch or her coming to my apartment after a long day of work, it breaks at the thought of not seeing Lena again and I can feel tears start to form in my eyes.

"No." I say almost like a reflex and she looks disappointed as if she had been waiting for that to be my answer and now that I said it she's just resigned. "No, you can't leave." I say this time with more urgency taking a step closer to her. "Not now, not when I finally-"  
"It's already decided Kara, there's nothing you can do or say to change my mind." How did this happen? this can't be right. She's leaving now that we have just started to mend our friendship, now that I need her more than ever and she wasn't even going to give me a chance to say goodbye. Is that thought, the thought of saying goodbye to her, knowing that the moment she leaves this apartment I probably will never see her again what finally breaks me and tears start flowing down my cheeks.

"Were you not going to tell me?" My voice is barely a broken whisper but the moment she flinches, indicating that she's heard me just fine and it pains her, gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can still stop her from leaving and is that hope that forces me into action, finally crossing the little distance that still separates us I search for her eyes but she's looking at the floor and the next thing I know I am taking her face in my hands almost pleading her to look at me and when she does there are tears running down her pale cheeks too. "Please Lena, please don't leave-" a sob escapes my lips and I force myself not to break in that moment.

"Kara-"

"No Lena, no." I say cutting whatever she was about to say with a sudden wave of courage that I know will not last and I really need to tell her how I feel. "You need to listen to me, there's this- there's something I need to tell you-"

"Please Kara, don't do this... don't make this any more difficult than it has to be," She says breaking from my hold and in her voice there is pain and sadness but now I know the reason. She walks to the other end of the kitchen as if she needed the space and my heart skips a beat as a crushing pain surrounds my chest because this is not how it's supposed to be. It was always the opposite, every time we were in the same room we would gravitate towards the other as if there was an invisible force preventing us from being apart and it was comforting, to know that the other felt it too, to know that neither of us ever fought against it.

"Why?" I finally ask needing to know the reason for this sudden turn of events but not being able to elaborate. Why are you leaving? Why not tell me? Why the suddenness of this decision? Why now? Why? Why? WHY? Why leave me?

"Because is the best thing for everyone." She says as if it was the most obvious answer but I can't understand how that may be when it feels like the complete opposite, in fact, it feels like my world is collapsing around me and I don't know how to make it stop. "Let's face it, Kara, I'm a Luthor... we just bring pain and chaos wherever we go, and I can't continue doing that to you."

"Lena... you know that's not true-"

"But it is. I tried- I tried to be different. I thought that moving here, to National City where there was this amazing superhero, was the best thing to do. I thought that I could help you built a better world instead of trying to destroy it. I thought that I could change and when you showed up in my office, again and again, trying to be my friend I thought you might be crazy because why in the world would you want to be friends with someone so damaged... with me. Why in the world this kind, happy, amazing person would want to be friends with a Luthor. It didn't make sense but you gave me hope, you made me think that maybe, just maybe, I was doing something right and I let my guard down and I basked in your warmth and your goodness. I let myself believe that the darkness inside of me had been stiped out and in its place was now something that resembled you, something pure, but I was wrong..." I don't know what to say or do, it's so ironic that I am considered one of the most powerful beings on earth and now, the moment that really matters, I feel so powerless and hopeless watching the woman I lo- I can't even finish that thought. "I was just fooling myself thinking that I could be any different than them but I know better now and it would be selfish of me to stay. I thought that telling you would only make this more painful for the both of us and I was right, I hope you can forgive me someday for everything I did, for this, but even if you can't see it now... this is the right thing for me to do." I can see in her eyes that she believes this is what she needs to do but she's wrong, I would never think that her leaving is the right thing to do. "Goodbye, Kara." She says with a tight smile that doesn't reach her eyes and suddenly she is turning around and making her way for the door that now seems too close.

Could this be it? Could this be the end? Can I let her cross that door knowing that I might never get her back? What would my life be without her? No more impromptu lunches because we know better than to schedule them with the way our days can turn upside down in a second, no more movie nights just the two of us in my loft after long days and it is always in my loft because she loves how 'home-ish' it feels, no more 'good day' texts followed by a photo of a puppy liking ice cream and definitely no more 'sweet dreams' texts after she gets to her apartment too tired to continue our conversations. Can I go on with my life like they never happened? All the lingering touches and the intense gazes that seemed to scream something we dared not say, or the comfortable silences where neither of us needed to say something to understand everything. 'No'. It is the simplest of the answers but it is true. I can't just go on and pretend that she was never a part of my life because everything around me reminds me of her. The red cup at the right end of the cupboard in my kitchen that became hers after many movie nights or the pink blanket with puppy dog faces that she says she hates but uses to cover herself every time we watch a horror movie or the fuzzy socks that she stores in my drawer for when she's too tired to walk with shoes in my apartment. She has influenced my life so deeply that I don't think I could go by an hour without thinking of her, without remembering her sparkling eyes as she talks about science, her beautiful smile as she watches me talk about food, her rich laugh that reaches my ears every time I tell her a joke or that beautiful blush that colors her cheeks every time I give her a compliment. I can't just forget... I don't want to. I want to be able to listen to her talk for hours about what her amazing mind has been up to in those labs, I want to see her smile every second of every day and be the cause of it, I want to hear her laugh in that carefree manner that she laughs when she is with me and no one else, I want to tell her how beautiful and amazing she is, I want to be able to hold her hand as we walk in the street, I want to kiss her at night as we go to sleep and I want her to be the first person I see when I wake up. I want to tell her everything about Krypton and my parents, I want her to know everything about me, all the good and the bad, all my dreams and my fears, I want her to be there for me just as I want to be there for her when the weight of the world feels too heavy. I want to rest my head in her lap and listen to her talk about what she remembers of her mother, I want her to read to me as I paint. I want to spend my life with her and for the first time, it doesn't scare me to admit it because I've never been more sure of anything in my life than I am now because I love her. I. Love. Her. I am in love with her and I will not let her go without a fight. 


	2. Harvest Moon

As she reaches for the doorknob I jump into action and next thing I know I’m crashing into her back and encircling my arms around her preventing her from leaving, and this time I break down at the possibility of never being able to do this again, to never hold her in my arms. She breaks too, even if just a little and even if just for a moment, I can feel it in the little tremors of her body that soon subside but she doesn’t try to get out of my hold or put some distance between us.

“Please, don’t leave.” I say finally able to talk with my voice sounding rough and broken. “Lena I need to tell you-”

“Kara,” She says shaking a bit her head as if to crash back to reality and taking two steps away from me she stands looking in my direction with pleading eyes but it’s too late, I can’t stop myself, not now, not when the alternative is too painful. “whatever you’re about to say please- I don’t-”

“Don’t tell me to stop.” I say cutting her sounding harsher than I intended, and she looks surprised as if she could not believe what I just said but remains put and I take that as my cue. “How dare you?” I say and I’ll admit that when I opened my mouth to say something, that was not what I expected, but I can’t stop myself, it comes out with full force and from a deep anger that I didn’t even know I had and I let it embrace me like an old friend. “How dare you say such things about yourself and expect me to just let you? What do you want me to say? That you are just like any other Luthor? That I'm glad you're leaving?” _Rao, it feels like there is fire coursing through my veins_. “Would that make this easier for you?” My words seem to be suspended in the air as I take a second to breathe after my outburst.

It is incredible the facility that this woman has to make me lose control over my emotions but it was always this way. Ever since I saw her for the first time I felt like she had a power over me that not even I could understand. Was it her piercing green eyes? The combination of that smirk with her eyebrow raised? Her ability to see through me like I was an open book to her? Was it her unwavering need to be and do good? I think it was all of that and more, and I let it consume me like fire.

“Lena, the moment I met you I knew you were different, I knew you were good and I didn't doubt it for a second because for me there was nothing to doubt. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so drawn by someone, so in tune, as I felt with you. I think I had forgotten how it felt to be friends with someone who didn’t expect me to be supergirl all the time, and don’t get me wrong I love Alex and all of our friends but with you it was different, for you I was just this awkward, dorky reporter that kept barging in your office trying to get you to have lunch with me and you liked me, and you let me get close to you not expecting me to be anything but that. I don’t think I realized how much you meant to me until later in our friendship, and the moment things started to get ugly between you and supergirl I knew it was too late.”

“We’ve already talked about this kara, I told you I understand why you didn’t tell me.”

“I know, I know I told you it was because I wanted to protect you and it’s true, I mean, you had more death threats the first year of our friendship than anyone has had in their entire lives but it wasn’t until the Kryptonite debacle that I realized it wasn’t about that anymore, at least not completely. I saw in your eyes how angry and hurt you were with supergirl and I couldn’t bear the thought of you being angry with Kara so I kept lying over and over again and the more I lied the more I was scared you would never forgive me and I knew I would deserve your anger and your hatred but I was weak, and it was that weakness what lead me to fool myself into thinking you were okay with it when I first told you that night.” I can still remember that night as if it had been yesterday. I remember how nervous I was thinking that would be the end of our friendship, thinking she would never forgive me, thinking how little I deserved that price after lying to her for years, and how relieved and happy I was when she said I was always going to be her best friend. 

“That day at the fortress I felt like my world was dying again and I had no one to blame but me. I promised you, when we first became friends, that I would always be your friend and that I would always protect you but I couldn’t keep my promise, I wasn’t a good friend and I failed to protect you from me and I am sorry for that. I’m sorry for so many things, for not having told you before, for not having trusted you with the kryptonite, for making you feel like our friendship was just a scam to keep tabs on you, for not being there when you needed me after Lex took the Harun-El… for not having fought for you harder. For not having told you how I really feel.” The silence between us has suddenly become tense, or maybe it’s just me who feels it as I take a moment to breathe, and she seems to sense it, she seems to sense the weight of my words before I can even start talking and she looks panicked for a second. “Lena, I lo-”

“Don’t say it, Kara.” Says Lena with pleading eyes as if just the thought of hearing the words pained her. “Not like this, I don’t want to hear it now and have it be tainted like everything else. I want to be able to feel happy the moment I hear them, I want to be able to say it back to you without feeling like there is still a part of me that hurts when I’m with you.” It takes a moment for my brain to catch up with the meaning of her words and I can feel my heart start beating faster and faster with joy until I see her somber face and nodding I try to not let my excitement blind me from what’s really happening.

“Okay, I won’t say it but please don’t leave, I can’t bear the thought of you being gone, you’re everything to me-”

“But don’t you see? I can’t be everything, that’s not fair… not for your friends and your family, not for National City and definitely not for you or me. That’s not healthy. I wish I could be selfish this time, I wish I could just forget about everything that has happened and start over but that’s not how I want it to be, you don’t deserve that… I don’t deserve that. Please understand that we both need space to find ourselves. For so long you were everything to me, you were the light, the happiness, and the joy in my life, and I want you to be that again but I also want to find that in me. My whole life has been about someone else, first wanting to be accepted and loved by Lillian and then wanting to mend Lex’s mistakes and convince the world that I was different. I understand now that that’s not how it’s supposed to be and I need to get away, I need to process everything, I need to heal.” She says desperately.

“I just- I just don’t want to lose you forever. I already did when the antimatter wave- I was alone for years when my planet died and then we were in the vanishing point for so long that I just- I thought I would never see you again.” I say with my voice breaking because just remembering those months, stuck in that awful place makes me want to curl up and cry. There were moments when the only thing I could think of was how I might never see the people I love and when I would close my eyes, if I could, the images of Krypton exploding and the earth being vanished with everyone I love in it… I just never thought I would ever have to live through that again.

“Oh darling, you won’t lose me.” She says finally crossing the space between us and for the first time since I arrived in her balcony, she is the one who initiates contact by caressing my cheeks that now are wet with tears I didn't notice were dropping from my eyes. There is a little smile on her face, one that is meant to comfort me and I close my eyes letting her words get rid of the pain. “I’ll come back.” She promises. “I don’t know when but I’ll come back, Kara.” I don’t dare open my eyes trying to engrave in my memory the previous look she had given me, one full of hope and love. 

I feel her move closer until the space between us is nonexistent and the next thing I feel is her soft lips on my cheek. I will myself not to breath as time seems to stop, and is the single most sweet kiss anyone has ever given me. I feel all the pain, all the anger, and all my fears finally calm down until there are only her and her promise, and I feel hope because I understand now. 

When I open my eyes again I find myself alone standing in front of a closed-door but this time I know this is not the end but the beginning, things will be better… we will be okay and for now that’s enough.

“Until next time… Lena.”

************

Time seems to go by slowly for the next few weeks. After I left her apartment that night and went home, I crawled in bed and let the weight of what had happened wash over me until sleep won the battle and I surrendered to a restless sleep full of nightmares. The next morning Alex came barging in worried that I hadn’t answered her calls and when she asked what happened I told her I didn’t want to talk about it and started getting ready for the day. Suddenly it seemed like the days had lost their color, the sun felt colder and being with my friends was just a reminder that Lena was gone. A couple of days later, when the news of Lena’s departure finally came to light, not even the supergirl activities were able to keep my mind from thinking of Lena because now everyone knew. Things started to get a little out of control and after Alex finally confronted me about it we decided it was best for me to take a little time off and after asking for a few favors to keep Nacional City safe I went off to Argo.

It is refreshing to not feel the weight of the world on my shoulders for more than five minutes even know it took me a couple of days to finally be able not to worry too much about every little thing going on on Earth after all I trusted my friends to keep it safe and they knew if something was too much they could always call me.

My mother did ask why my sudden decision to spend some time in Argo but after receiving a vague answer she let it go and told me that it didn’t matter and that she was glad to have me there. After a week of moping around, I started to pray to Rao every morning, per my mother’s request, just like I used to when I was a kid and it helped me reconnect with my religion, there is a certain calmness that comes from meditation and I basked in it finally being able to rid my mind from all my fears. As I got bored from staying at home all day doing the same things I decided to make myself useful by accompanying my mother to the labs, after all this had been my first purpose and after the first day, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was satisfied and happy with myself. 

After two months of living on Argo, I received a message from Alex telling me about a new villain they had fought against that week who had given them a hard time, but they were able to defeat him after they had received a little help from Lena who had shown up for a couple of days. The news took me by surprise, not because I thought Lena wouldn’t help but because when I heard her name I didn’t feel pain or sorrow, instead I felt happy that she was okay. After that call nothing really interesting happened on Earth. I stayed another month until I felt it was time to crash back to reality, and after my mother made me promise her that I would visit more often, I made my trip back to Earth.

A lot had happened in those three months I was off Earth, even when it didn’t feel that it was that long. Turns out Brainy and Nia were now living together, and Alex and Kelly had announced their engagement after the latter had proposed a week ago. I couldn’t believe it when they told me but it was nice seeing everyone happy, especially Alex. 

Thanks to the help of the superfriends I started to lay back from supergirl duties. It was nice to go back to CatCo, the time away had given me a new perspective of life and now I knew what I wanted to write and what I wanted to say, and the time I had gave me a chance to explore all the stories I wanted to give a voice to. 

I won’t deny that when the holidays arrived I couldn’t help but think of Lena. I wondered where she was and what she was doing. A month before, news had reached me of her stepping down from L-Corp for an indefinite time but I didn’t dwell too much on it, after all, I figured she was doing what she wanted and that’s all that mattered. Apart from that the holidays went by much faster than I thought but seeing everyone being happy and moving on with their lives made me realized that I wanted that too. 

When they offered to promote me to editor-in-chief I knew it wasn’t the right time, I still wanted to tell so many stories, and being a reporter gave me the time to explore other things I wanted to do, like painting which I had started to do more often. When Nia told me that they were too beautiful to keep them hidden and suggested that I should sell them or at least do an exhibition with them I figured ‘why not’, and after the first night in that Art Gallery, watching everyone interpret them in their own way, I knew that I didn’t want to just show my paintings but rather teach everyone the beauty and joy in the act of painting. After that, it just became a matter of time before I started to teach a small group of troubled teenagers how to canalize their emotions through painting, and to say that it was rough in the beginning it’s an understatement but with time and a lot of patience we were able to make progress. After that everything seemed to fall in place, and the days become weeks and the weeks months.

************

The days have started to get colder and windy as the summer says goodbye for another year, people are starting to wear light sweaters and coats and the smell of hot beverages is more prominent as everyone seems to crave something sweet in the morning. I’m aware of the smile that appears in my face as the sight of Noonan’s just across the street, and by the looks of it, everyone else was also craving something sweet today. As I make my way inside, the fluttering of voices seems to become louder and I make my way to the end of the line getting my phone to answer some emails as I wait for my turn. 

As I open my email I see it’s overflowing with all the wedding details as I ended up being the one in charge of making sure everything goes as planned but at the end of the day, even with all the little details, I’m glad to be doing this for Alex… she deserves the best wedding in the world and I’m gonna make sure she has it.

“Kara. I’m so glad to see you… don’t think I haven't noticed you haven't been here the past couple of days.” Says Tracy behind the counter with her cheery attitude.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been having a very busy week with all the wedding planning. First Alex had a  _ small _ (as per Alex’s words) freak out about the dress and then Milo came down with something but he’s fine now.” I say recalling the last few days.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry but I’m glad he’s fine. So, what can I get you today?” 

“I’m honestly offended that you even asked.” She laughs before accepting my credit card and charging it with my usual.

“Have a nice day, Kara.”

“You too Tracy.” I say before moving on to the other end of the counter as I wait for my name to be called.

Suddenly a chill runs through my body which is weird because I never feel cold but this is different, It is as if something in me had just woken up and the feeling of being watched invades all my senses forcing me to look up. It takes me a moment to finally be sure that I am not imagining it, that I am not just imagining her standing in front of Tracy as she takes her order, but Lena seems to not be paying attention to Tracy but to me and as our eyes meet I can see she’s just as affected as I am. When she finally makes her way to where I am standing it feels like an eternity and not enough time to prepare myself. She looks different, not physically just… there’s something about her that seems more relaxed, more peaceful.

“Hi.” She says almost breathless and I can’t help but feel happy that she’s standing here.

“Hi.” I feel at a loss for words. Even known that more than a year has passed since she left, the space between us feels comforting and welcoming as if we had just seen each other yesterday and I let myself breathe her rich perfume and memorize every part of her.

“Kara!” The sudden call of my name by a teenage boy behind the counter breaks the little moment we were having and I turn quickly accepting my coffee without checking if they got my order right, not wanting to look back where Lena was standing to find out the spot empty but she's there watching me as if she was making sure I’m real. There isn’t any time to say something before her name is called and after thanking the boy she looks back at me with decision in her eyes.

“Are you busy?” She says, biting her bottom lip in that nervous tic she has and I see she hasn’t managed to stop.

“Not really, here.” I say leading the way to a table that has just been freed. As we sit on opposite sides I can’t help but feel nervous and I try to distract myself by giving my cup a sip. It leaves a sweet taste in my mouth that feels comforting. “So, how have you been? It’s been…”

“Nineteen months” Says Lena finishing the sentence for me, and it takes me a couple of seconds to remind me that a lot has passed since we last saw each other. “I’ve been good.”

“Good.” I’m a reporter and now I feel like I can’t even form a coherent sentence. “I’ve been good too.”  _ Wow Kara, way to go, now you’re just repeating everything she says.  _

“I’m glad.” Says Lena with a bright smile adorning her beautiful face. The silence settles between us and I try to search for something to say but ultimately is Lena the one who breaks it. “So is Milo- is he… your boyfriend?” She says fidgeting with her cup of black coffee and it takes me a couple of seconds to respond because the idea is so ridiculous.

“What?” I say when I finally am able to talk. “Wha- no. No, he is- he's actually my dog.”

“Oh.” She looks surprised and relieved at the same time.

“Yeah, he’s this little golden retriever… well, he’s actually not so little anymore. Alex surprised me with him like four months ago when she asked me to be her  _ best man _ and to help her with all the wedding planning.” I say remembering the day Alex came barging into my apartment followed by a very energetic puppy.

“Oh, I didn’t know she was going to get married but I’m happy for her, she deserves to be happy.”

“Yeah, they both do. Anyway, I’m glad I have Milo because planning a wedding is the craziest thing in the world, and I’ve fought crazy things, but he gives me all the moral support I need, even when he’s just destroying everything he finds.” I can feel the fond smile that plasters on my face just thinking about him. Before Lena can say anything my phone starts ringing and I excuse myself as I hurry to take the call. “Alex?”

“ _ Kara, we need you, downtown, there is a not so friendly alien.”  _ Says Alex and in the background I can hear an explosión and people screaming.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” I’m already up by the time I hang the call and Lena looks like she wants to say something but doesn’t know what or how. I search in my bag for a pen and write down on a napkin an address passing it to her.

“What’s this?” She asks looking at the address and not recognizing it.

“I’m having an art exhibition tonight, it’s a little project my students have been working on and I’m sure it would mean a lot for them if someone as important as you would come… it would mean a lot to me too.” She looks at a loss for words before she shakes her head a little as if to come back to reality.

“You’re a teacher?” I would love nothing more than to sit here with her and talk about everything that has happened in the time we were apart but Alex needs me and this is not the right place to have that conversation.

“Why don’t you come tonight… maybe we could have dinner afterward and talk in a more private place.” I say sounding hopeful.

“I would love nothing more.” I let my eyes gaze her face as if to make sure this was not a product of my imagination but then I feel her hand grip mine and she gives it a gentle squeeze as if to reassure me of her presence. 

“I’m happy you’re back, Lena.” I say and before I can think too much about it, I embrace her in a tight hug feeling like time stops for a moment just so we can have this little moment and if it weren’t for the closeness I doubt I would hear her next words.

“I’m happy to be back, I missed you.” The smile that spreads on my face can rival the sun as she hugs me back. “Now go, darling. I can wait a few more hours.”

I don’t say anything more because there is nothing more to say, whatever needs to happen will happen but I’m confident we will be okay, I could feel it in every gaze, in every word, in every touch. We will be okay. With that final thought in my mind, after walking into the nearest alley, I change into my supergirl suit and leap into the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a different turn from what I had intended but I like it better this way. I really think this characters need time to repair everything that has happened in order to finally take the next step.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I had fun writing this little story, specially because I love the characters so much.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot thing but ended up being longer than I expected.  
> Also, this is my first fanfic ever and English is not my first language, so... sorry if my writing is not the best. I just had this idea in my head for quite some time and thought 'why not'.


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